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Saturday, March 27, 2010

First time...

You spend your whole life trying to recapture that moment, the moment when you first felt truly alive. Heart pounding,breathless, body shaking like a leaf, grinning uncontrollably like youv'e just unlocked the secrets to the universe, this is what it's all about, this is elusive meaning behind everything, what god put you here to find, enjoy and live in true bliss knowing.
It's different for each person, for you it may be the joyous birth of your newborn child, the smilen face of your little miracle and the tight grip of tiny fingers clasping yours. The job promotion, salary and respect you spend your life working towards, or the day you marry the person you love and promise to spend the rest of your life loving.
For me it happend at the tender age of thirteen in the confines of my small ensuite bathroom. There i was just home from school slumped on my bed tired from the monotony of school and the endless reams of mind numbing lessons and never ending homework.
Lying listless on my bed i start to think about my day trying to think of anything could that happened today, the incomprahensible information being throw at me, the crippling shyness, the self consciousness i feel every secound of the day. The beautiful girls in my class that i'll never be able to even say hi to let alone talk to.
Thinking about those girls some of them a whole year older than me, with incredibly pretty faces, soft sweet lips, hidden but heaving breast that are begging to be touched, oh to touch just one for a secound! and legs, legs that walk and sit and cross and uncross. Closing my eyes and getting lost in these thoughts i'm surprised when i feel a strange sensation and opening my eyes i realise my pants are feeling tight as my hand rubs up against my penis. I don't understand why but it feels great and i don't want to stop. So carefully unbuttoning my jeans and sliding them to the floor along with my underwear i'm left with swollen penis exposed.

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