The car revs loudly and within secounds he roughly grabs the handbrake and we drift around the sharp corner. My heart beats so fast especially as the car lunges us about hard yet i can't seem to turn my eyes away from his face even with an entire world of roads, tall buildings and the night sky rushing towards us. I fell so safe next to him, i know he's in control and he would never let anything happen to me. Within a few minutes we are far away from town and out in a deserted field, the squeel of tyres and roaring engines still ringing in my ears.
The car spins around and comes to a stop and scott gives me a look that says everything, a devilish wide mouthed grin and a we can do anything and get away with it look and at the same time a look that says live in the moment it's the only way to live life and this moment is one we will remember forever. I can feel my heart beating out of my chest it's never beaten so fast my whole life and yet as he lunges towards me and pushes his lips to mine it's speeds up even more,i think to myself you are one lucky girl. I barely have time to think as he pulls each item of clothes off me and althought i'd love to help him out he moves so fast i'm naked in a matter of secounds. He removes his clothes even quicker and i don't even get to see him naked before feeling him deep inside me.
This is the first time we have ever been naked with each other before so i have no idea what size he is but he feels huge to me streching me right out being all in can take and i think i couldnt take another inch without fainting but all the same i love it and looking up at him wildly thrusting i realise at that moment i love him. This guy who only a few hours ago was a good friend who i thought was kinda hot but nothing special was the man i loved, how mad is life.
An hour or two later he is dropping me home and kissing me goodnight, only our secound ever kiss by the way and i'm in heaven, he says he will text me later and as i wal slowly to the door i can't help but look back to see the car speed around the corner and smile to myself. I almost float through the door and once inside i realise my mam might still be awake so i creep up to bed not making a sound wrap myself up in my warm duvet and drift off to sleep happier than i can ever remember being.
I awake to the sound of plates smashing loudly against the walls downstairs, the door slams and i angry footsteps pound the footpath outside. I hurriedly stumble towards my window stubbing my toe against my bed, the pain is instant and infuriating but i hobble over to my window quickly to see who is leaving and responsible for all this racket. The tall, broad and fuming figure of my dad is marching out onto the road. At first i don't understand what's going on until my half asleep brain finally wakes up and realises that my dad has stormed out after an almighty row with my mam, iv'e never seen them like this before, it's scares me and i frantically try to make sense of it. To come up with some logical explanation why this has happened, something must have caused it but i'm drawing a blank.
I frantically pull on the nearest clothes i can find before creeping slowly downstairs. The kitchen door is slightely ajar as i try to silentely push through it in one fluid movement without making a single sound but i was never the most gracefull creature and i stumble, fall into the door and enter the room with my hands strechted out in front, a loud 'AAAGGH' is the first word to fall out of my mouth this day as i'm braced for a violent crash only to be stopped quickly by the kitchen counter top embrasing my out streched palm.The huddled and frail figure of my mam slumps against the back door, her eyes gazing towards me, i think for a secound she is about to laugh until i realise she is not looking at me but straight through me.
I tentatively and quietely ask 'mam are you okay?'. I get no response so i repeat it louder still no answer comes. Creeping towards her i rest my hands gentely on her shoulders and ask in the most soathing and calming voice as i can muster 'is there anything i can do to help?' Finally i get a quiet response 'he's gone' secounds pass yet seem like an eternity before she adds 'he's gone the bastard and he's not coming back!'
'What happened?' i ask confused and desperately trying to hold back the tears, i need to be strong for her. 'He's found a new family and doesn't want us anymore,he doesn't want me and he doesn't want you!'she looks up at me for those last two words, a look of anger, bitterness and resentment. I can feel the tears already forming in my eyes the wave of emotion washing over me, knocking me down and crushing me. I can't bear this feeling and i can't let her see how she's hurt me so in a matter of secounds i'm rushing out the backdoor running, running and speeding away from that place as fast as i'm able, tears spilling down my face everybit as heavy and wet as the rain that is now falling on my head. I'm getting soaked and i don't care i keep running until my legs no longer move me forward and i collapse breathless, soaked and broken against a nearby wall. The wall has a ledge which hangs over my head protecting me from anymore downfall which i'm thankfull for as i rest my head back against the dry concrete. My bones fell so heavy now i couldnt get up if i wanted to, staring off into the distance overlooking the town my eyes begin to feel as heavy as my bones. I try to keep them open but the weight is too much and before i know it i'm asleep hoping nobody sees me like this.
I wake sometime later and at first i dont know where i am until i look around and realise i'm in a warm bed, the walls are covered in posters of expensive and to be honest quite sexy cars and if not cars then half naked women. Georgeous women with pouting faces and huge breasts almost falling out of there tops, i have nothing in common with these women, i don't have those perfect figures or huge boobs, i'm so jealous of the way guys lear after these perfect women and i couldn't be futher away from that.
Hearing footsteps coming up the stairs i'm snapped out of my self loathing and frantically scanning the room for a way out of this situation. The window seems just about big enough to squeeze through so i speedily toss the duvet aside and leap out of bed towards the window. Only to notice the coldness grasping at my exposed skin. My naked skin! Shit not only have i been dragged into a strange mans bedroom but he has stripped me naked and oh god he must have plans to do unspeakable things to me. I notice a baseball bat leaning up against the wardrobe as the footsteps get louder and louder. I quickely grab it and hide behind the door frame perfectely positioned to swing at whoever enters in the next few secounds. My heart is beating through my chest and adreneline is rushing through my naked and terrified body.
The door slowly creeps open, i decide it's now or never so i lunge forward and swing wildly opening i hit cleanly and connect. i need to hurt this weirdo before he hurts me. Involuntaraly my eyes close as i swing so i don't see what or who i hit but i hear a loud banging and crashing of wood against metal and something else. And a voice moaning fucking hell.Iv'e done hit it! I must have with all that noise and racket. Opening my eyes to survey the damage i see the figure of a man on the floor, a metal tray flung across the ground and a half full half spilled plate of cooked breakfast balancing on the man's stomach. Looking down at this fallen figure in the half darkened hallway i firstly notice his eyes, his bright blue eyes sparkling even in this darkness. Those eyes look so familiar to me, though i can't place them. My brain is so occupied with trying to remember where i know them from that i fail to react as he pulls himself up from the hard ground, it's only as he smashes the plate full of food against the wall with all his strenght that this deafing sound shakes me out of my wondering. I'm frozen like a rabbit in the headlights i'm unable to move or react.I have no idea how to react in this situation and i start to panic.
I wanna turn and run but there is nowhere to go and even if there was i wouldn't be able to bring myself to move. He limps out of the shadow and is almost growls and seems animalistic ready to pounce on me and as i prepare myself for the worst i'm greeted by the most beautiful sight and releif rushes through my entire body. It's scott, my scott! All this time iv'e been in his bedroom and he was the one who brought me in from the cold to take care of me. I leap into his arms and kiss him furiousely, i can sense his annoyance at the tense situation and his surprise at my sudden leap but his initial reluctance to enjoy my lips falls away and in no time at all we are awkwardly fumbling towards the bed and laughing at ourselves.
He's lying naked on his bed fast asleep as i'm wrapped up in him and taking in this room, the rows upon rows of cd's and the large but old tv in the corner of the room facing us. The dark brown and red painted walls bare exept for a few posters of celtic players and one of a extremely large breasted and topless model. It's no wonder i didn't recognise this room as scott's, clearly it's a man's room but there is nothing personal to show in the entire place. No personal photos, no momentos and certainly nothing warm or welcoming, unless you count those fake breasts as welcoming. I would think more about this but my stomach grumbles and i realise i haven't eaten since yesterday morning and the food littered across the landing floor doesn't look too appetising so after throwing on some clothes and a quick clean up i make us both some breakfast and am just climbing back into bed when my man wakes up.
''Did I wake you baby? i'm sorry''
'' No no it wasn't you just the smell of that hot tea and that tasty looking fry up, did you make it yourself?''
''Yes'' i beam with pride.
''Well you are full of surprises, talented in the bedroom, the kitchen and handy with a baseball bat''
I laugh quietely and turn my eyes to the floor, embarassed at my almost violent episode and the situation as a whole. Noticing this scott takes my cheek gently in his hand and kisses my lips ever so tenderely before whispering in my ear ''It's okay babe you have nothing to be embarassed about and your always welcome here.I craddle my head on his chest and close my eyes happy and contented. I have nothing to worry about in the world when i'm here. The next few months are spent between school, here and the occasion visit back home. The first time i went back from scott's was the worst, i had been out for two whole days and nights and expected to get shouted and roared at, or at least to be grounded and punished but my mam hardly noticed i had gone at all. She had occupied her time not with worrying about me or trying to find me but by cursing my now vanished dad's name and drowning herself in an ocean of cheap booze. Hear i was sixteen almost seventeen and apparantely i needed no more raising or family love, not that i ever got much. One parent had literally abandoned me and the other may has well have for all the good she did. Thank god i was an only child and no other siblings had to put up with them.
I was so grateful for the time spent at scotts house, his mam worked the night shift at the hospital leaving us the house to ourselves most days and when she was around ahe would cook for both of us, i think she liked me because she always gave me extra and asked how i was and when we would disappear up to scotts room she would joke '' Don't do anything i wouldn't do'' The only time she ever interfeared with us if you can call it that was to pull me aside one day and quietley ask if i was taking the right precautions. I said i was and she never mentioned it again, and to be honest i was glad that someone cared enough to ask.
